Did I lose To a Time Lord?

Man, I can’t believe that this months is already half over. I would ask the typical question on where did the time fly too, but I can already answer that: I’ve been busy. That’s the crazy part, is that I’ve been busy, and I’m truly enjoying it.  I’ve been helping out with our Geeks United Against Cancer, and helping fund raise. I’ve been overly busy here in the studio, and all I can think is- Damn, this is fun.

Nash Gray, my fictional friend, we have been through so much together and all I can say is that I’m finally glad that I got your story done(at least I hope so). I’ve spent so much time rewriting and revising this screenplay that I hope with the resources we have available, that I finally can put the words to rest. Evilly, I won’t reveal the final script until we have it casted fully, but I’m glad to find more ways to tell Nash’s story. It also helped that I got some advice about filming from a friend, who reminded me of those valuable lessons learned about a year or so ago. I have a fault of not putting enough action into the writing, but can fill out that dialogue all day long.

You know that feeling you get when you realize something big is going to occur? Like the butterflies or the wiggly feelings inside. I got those today, and I look and see that I’m down to my last three and a half months of school. It’s crazy that I started this journey almost three years ago, and my life has been accelerated ever since. I can’t believe that it’s been over four years since my meltdown at work. Yet, I’ve come so far, and I’ve changed, for the better(or at least I think so). I’ve taken on responsibilities that I wouldn’t have ever dreamed of. I’ve built a reliable team to help complete the work that I have to do. These people seem to enjoy the process, and it gives them opportunities to gain experience that they probably wouldn’t have otherwise. The biggest experience is mine, as I learn to be a leader, as I learn to organize my life and the work I plan on doing for the rest of my life.

Speaking of the rest of my life. I find it odd that things that I wanted to do as a high schooler, have come back around in some way for where I decided to head in life. When I was in high school, I wanted to own my own production company, but I wanted it to be a music producer, as music will always be my first love. I discovered drama way after, but I found that I love it just as much.

I’m sure that I’ve mentioned that Sin City(2005), changed my life. I think it was creatively the most stunning movie(or it just looked really cool)(damn my comic book geekiness). I want to make something that cool. I love to write, and it’s funny because I hated English in high school. Being creative or performing, those are my drugs, and I love how they make me feel.

Remember that in three and a half months, things will be changing greatly for me. This is the Director and that’s a wrap.

Pump Up The Jam on My Toast!

God, that work flow is going so smoothly today. So, while I was working on homework, I was thinking about working with one of my actors yesterday. So he could start to get a feel for the character that he will be playing, and the kind of motivation that I’m looking for in his performance. I even got Ed to come in a read his part of Nash to see how they sounded together. Sarah was there to read the other parts so I could get the feel of the read. I’m so glad to have a great team to help out for sure.

As my actor Curtis was hanging out for several hours with me, I decided to show him some of my older work…. boy have I come a long way from the beginning. I’m really getting better at being a visual storyteller for sure.

I get to doing my homework and I started thinking about the Appreciate What You’ve Got reshoots, and I decided that I’m going to just reshoot the whole thing and this time get the original vision that I had intended(as I write this, I’m shaking, not sure of excitement, or the fact that I haven’t eaten in several hours). I also know that because of the experience of location scouting this week, I’m going to have to make some revisions for Nash Gray, but I think the story will be better for it as those alterations will be put in. Hell, I’m excited as well as hungry, so I’m going with it.

I’m pumped and my fingers are going constantly without really stopping. I started an account with Indiegogo so that we can start crowdfunding our projects, which in turn help make them better. I’ve reshaped the first script and sent it off, and I’m waiting on my food. My weekend disappeared. We had a yard sale for Relay for Life for our Geeks United Against Cancer, so Friday and Saturday hours were from  6am -11pm both days and I have no regrets, but I wish I had that time to breathe, because Monday is coming up on us way too soon.

Did I tell you that I’m loving what I’m doing? I’m pretty sure I’ve said it at least once or twice somewhere. Anyway, that’s a quick thought on how this weekend’s going as I’m trying to work on more location scouting this week, and we have a casting call coming up next weekend. Hit me up on one of my various pages and ask me where to go, so that I can point you in the right direction.  This is the Director and that’s a wrap!

I Have a Heart-Shaped Box in Tetris

I used to be a real estate agent, like a billion years ago, or so it seems. I got out of the business, because I felt that I was too honest for the business. Anyway…today I’m at my desk at the studio, and I realized that I my desk was starting to look the way it did ten years ago, while in said profession.

My desk has always been in a moment of utter chaos. Papers are everywhere(kind of like my kid’s rooms), and I decided I needed to get my act together and organize. I guess my desk has always represented my mind, as in my thoughts are everywhere and I barely think in as  straight pattern. It usually ends up all over the place(kind of like when I play my iPod on long trips).

I don’t know if this is a sign that I’m finally reaching my journey to a respectable adulthood, or if I’m just finally trying to get my shit together(ask me in a couple of weeks for that verdict). Maybe it’s the fact that I’m taking my position as a writer and director far more serious than any job I ever had before. Part of my failure at real estate was that I wasn’t ready for that kind of responsibility at the time. It’s hard to live off of just commission when you’re a bit younger. There is something to be said about getting that check every week for sure.

Alas, I know that going this route isn’t going to make the pay checks any easier, but I’ve grown over the last decade and I’m ready to attempt to make my wealth on my own terms. Not that I’m really looking to get rich, but to have a decent life that my family can live comfortably and maybe send the kids to a higher learning institution.

This was just a quick thought for the day. This is the Director, and that’s a wrap.

Who Brought the Fire and Brimstone to the BBQ?

Normally, I try to keep things positive, sometimes serious, most of the time I try to bring the humor, but I’ve had things weighing heavy on me as of late. With that some thoughts that haven’t been so good, have been crossing my mind, so I think that I want to get these thoughts out, and let you decide.

Nobody is perfect, except one man, Jesus Christ. I know not everyone believes in him, and I can respect that, but he also brings a beacon of hope to so many people in this world. The scriptures talk about angels and demons at least a couple of times, so that’s where the lead off comes in….

Demon’s come in many shapes and sizes. Maybe an unhealthy addiction to food, I’ve been there…several times over. I’ve used food to cope with my feelings of inadequacy. I’ve used it to drown my depression. I’ve gained so much weight because of certain events that have gone on in my life, but I realize that food isn’t the answer. I’m trapped in several sizes too big, and that’s my fault. I don’t body shame anyone, because I know what it’s like to be teased about being over weight, Yes, I’ve gotten the side eye in judgement as well. No, you’re not cleaver, and yes making comments about being fat makes you an asshole, but there are some with genuine concern in their voice. The first time weight was a real issue of concern was in 2011. I got bit by a bug at work, and I went to get it checked. I was around 394 lbs at the time.

I did really well getting the weight off, I joined Weight Watchers  and I was working out several times a week. By the time I was done, I had lost 56 lbs. Man I was so proud of myself, I felt better, I looked better, and I moved better. They say exercise helps relieve stress, and I’m not sure if that was what was going on. I slept better, but it didn’t stop my depression from causing a melt down at work. I ended up taking 17 months off of work because of it. I didn’t want to deal with the world…food comforted me, and I gained all that weight and then some back. My therapist stated that he thought that my weight gain might have been a form of me trying to slowly kill myself. He was right, I wasn’t dealing with things in the proper light. I was making preparations of a life outside of the job I was suspended from, and I didn’t expect to go back….

I started working out this week, as I’m trying to gain my life back, and I will…just slower than before. I’ve got a bright future ahead of me and I can’t wait to reach that point.

Back to the subjects of demons, I’ve seen alcohol ruin a young person’s life. I’ve seen drugs ruin someone’s life. I’m blessed to have never had to deal with these myself, but I’ve family that has. I hope that the have or can find the help they need to over come that.

One of the demons that I’ve been dealing with is anger, I’ve gone a bit over board with it a few times, and I can’t take back the hurt it has done, but I’m working on it, because it needs to go away. It peaked with my ex and her father. I was so angry for so long that I was a ball of rage for the longest time. The worst part is that we tend to say the mean and nasty things when we are angriest. Some times, they may be more true than one would want to admit, the hurt remains, and I see the scars in the people who I’ve personally hurt.

I’ve been on both sides of the wall for various demons, and I’ll be the first to admit that I’m cautious about judging anyone about whatever might have gone on. So, I think that everyone should hear the whole story before condemning someone. I know that I’ve been on the wrong side of accusations before. Just some food for thought.

This is the Director, and that’s a wrap.

 

I’ll Pass On The Straight Jacket, Thank You

So, I just finished my last video before we go in to the Pre-production class, and now I’m four months from being over. The most current thing that I’ve been really trying is getting my post production skills going.  I’ve been watching videos about Photoshop, After Effects, and I’m just now trying to put them together by trying out some test footage. I got it to look like my son was controlling force lightning. I’m teaching him about camera and editing work, and I guess you can say that’s one of the ways we are bonding.

I would be lying if I said that I felt like I have this in the bag. Truth is, I’m scared shitless. There’s too much of the unknown ahead of me, but on the bright side is that the people I’ve asked to crew for me, and my actors so far, are people I know that I can count on. There has been a tremendous support for my endeavors, and I continue to build upon my network connections. It’s funny how you can make some friends over being geeky. It’s beautiful to be able to share a passion together and help each other be successful. I have some of the best people in my life because of that.

With that being said, I’m going to give a shout out to my crew; Ed, my friend and creative partner, this is your vision, and I’m glad that I could help bring the story to life. Sarah, my wife, you are the best support ever. Thanks for sticking by me through everything. Terry: you and I have been friends for so long, that you’ve always come to my aid in time of need. You’re family brother. Alisa, you’re eagerness to be of help and dedication is awesome, thanks for being a good dink. Rodney, you’ve worked for me as an actor, and we’ve acted together. I’m glad to bring you to the other side of the production team, I know you’re connections will help breathe life into the people you help cast. Mike, you’re the first friend that I ever made here, it’s funny that so many years later we would be going to school for the same thing. I look forward to working with you and have you on as an extra pair of eyes to get this done.

Celeste; while being the newest member of this crew, and one of the newest geeks, I welcome your insight on this process since you have some experience. Thank you for your willingness to help out. Now for my actors and SCA brethren, thank you, Dean and Curtis for being some of the feature players in my film. I look forward to seeing what it is that you bring to these characters, and I think that we’ll continue to have a good time, like always.

I’m looking forward to what creative things I have in the works to present unto everybody. If you haven’t subscribed to my stuff, please do, that’s the biggest way of showing me that you support this journey.  Thank you. This was just to be short and sweet. With that being said, this is the Director and that’s a wrap.

Welcome to My Funeral, I Think I’ll Be Late.

Well, I guess that is an unusual title, but it’s more about mindset than actually dying…good God, I’m not ready for that, yet. I never tried hard in school when I was a kid, I always skated by with B’s and C’s. As long as I passed was all my parent’s worried about.  Too bad, that I didn’t take it upon myself to do better. I should have done better for me.

All I cared about was having fun, or at least between the time I wasn’t getting bullied or feeling lonely. I had more friends than I thought at the time, and I did okay. I just wanted to have fun and not worry about school. My, how things have changed though. Determination, maturity, and a bit of desperation are great motivators to get the ball rolling.

So the first change came about the time I was thirteen, it was February 29th, 1992. It was that extra day in the year that brought me more trouble than I was expecting. I had been rejected by a girl I liked and it bothered me. I was being a kid, who didn’t pay attention to any of the signs on a road that I traveled down most days on my bike. I ran a stop sign and was ran into by an oncoming truck. Being a kid, who needed a helmet and pads, right? Nothing ever touches a kid, right?

I hit the front end of the truck and roll up on the hood, when the truck stops, I fly about ten feet, yards, I’m not even sure, because I don’t remember any of it. I just pick up bits after I wake up from my comma. So, I fly and hit my head on the asphalt. I suffer from severe head trauma. Broken bones, oh so many broken bones, scares and asphalt embedded into my hand to remind me that I’m a stupid kid.

After about three weeks of a medicated comma, I ended up in rehab to get my abilities to do everything back.  I took a chunk out of my femur bone and had to have a steel rod put in place to help it heel, I had a cast on the right arm I broke, and my hip was broken in two places. I forgot to mention that it was on my right side. Thank God for that because I’m a lefty. Always about silver linings. The thing that changed about me the most, according to my parents, was that I had a major personality change. I used to be a softy at heart, and very emotional. I was a kind person. At least that’s the story, I’ve been told. Things went in the complete opposite direction for me after that.

I’m not saying that I became mean, though I can get that way(if you’ve been following along since the first blog, then you might have heard me mention being bullied a few times), but I was a bit tougher. I’m kind of a cynic, and I have a very crass sense of humor. Mom told me it was like I went to the dark side.

Over all, I like the person I am. I think it’s toughened me up for what this world really is, but I do care about people. I just don’t like to put up with bullshit. I don’t think most people do. Any way, to continue on….

I had to fight to get my grades back up. I had to relearn how to use the bathroom. All that fun stuff that comes out of rehab. I made it though. Some people where glad I came back to school, others not so much, but I was changed.

When your young, you tend not to appreciate the fight, and as I went to high school, I started slacking again, but I did graduate on the first try, even with a couple of close calls. Then I moved to California and took a year off, before I went back. Part of that reason was because my parent’s said that if I took a year off, I won’t go back, and surly I had to prove them wrong, I mean that is the kind of person I am.

I went to school, fell in love with two girls, at the same time, and I choose the wrong girl to marry, but I didn’t know that at the time. It was an interesting time in my life, and I’m far better from that situation as a person. Choosing the wrong mate, put me through a time of hell, and I ended up being a broken person because of it.  That was when the second girl I fell in love with came back into my life. I suffered PTSD from that first marriage, but Sarah came back into my life and saved me. It wasn’t long before we were pregnant, and then married. Second chances don’t come along often, but I was blessed with that.

After that situation took place, I went back to school, but just got burnt out. I crammed the last month of school into a week and a half because I got a job on the Disney film Holes(2003). I kept up with school for about a year more before I decided to just work and be a family man.

I had tried to do a few classes like pharmacy tech, and then an accountant, but I hadn’t found any of that satisfying, so I worked until my break down at work that took me on an extended vacation for seventeen months. During that time I was soul searching and trying to figure out what I wanted to do in life.  Learning that I needed to make the smart decisions and go for “real jobs”, but I never was satisfied with that either. About half way into my suspension from work, I decided to follow my dream and go to film school. By this time, I finally figured out that I was smart enough to do this and I felt that this was what I was meant to do.

Thank God for that, or I wouldn’t be sitting here blogging about my life, and the things I learned. I wouldn’t be here communicating and trying to build a name for myself. Every like, follow, and subscriber is a check in the win column for me. I love what I’m trying to build. I’ve never been more passionate, except about Superheroes and Star Wars, but I do really love what I’m working towards. I do love writing, and I’ve found my prose(google it). I think it works for me. I appreciate that I have a great group of supporters, and fans. Who would have ever thought?

Remember, I’m Chris Keeling, and I’m the Director, and if you like everything I do, like, subscribe, leave some words…. I like words. This is a wrap until next time folks.