I’ll Pass On The Straight Jacket, Thank You

So, I just finished my last video before we go in to the Pre-production class, and now I’m four months from being over. The most current thing that I’ve been really trying is getting my post production skills going.  I’ve been watching videos about Photoshop, After Effects, and I’m just now trying to put them together by trying out some test footage. I got it to look like my son was controlling force lightning. I’m teaching him about camera and editing work, and I guess you can say that’s one of the ways we are bonding.

I would be lying if I said that I felt like I have this in the bag. Truth is, I’m scared shitless. There’s too much of the unknown ahead of me, but on the bright side is that the people I’ve asked to crew for me, and my actors so far, are people I know that I can count on. There has been a tremendous support for my endeavors, and I continue to build upon my network connections. It’s funny how you can make some friends over being geeky. It’s beautiful to be able to share a passion together and help each other be successful. I have some of the best people in my life because of that.

With that being said, I’m going to give a shout out to my crew; Ed, my friend and creative partner, this is your vision, and I’m glad that I could help bring the story to life. Sarah, my wife, you are the best support ever. Thanks for sticking by me through everything. Terry: you and I have been friends for so long, that you’ve always come to my aid in time of need. You’re family brother. Alisa, you’re eagerness to be of help and dedication is awesome, thanks for being a good dink. Rodney, you’ve worked for me as an actor, and we’ve acted together. I’m glad to bring you to the other side of the production team, I know you’re connections will help breathe life into the people you help cast. Mike, you’re the first friend that I ever made here, it’s funny that so many years later we would be going to school for the same thing. I look forward to working with you and have you on as an extra pair of eyes to get this done.

Celeste; while being the newest member of this crew, and one of the newest geeks, I welcome your insight on this process since you have some experience. Thank you for your willingness to help out. Now for my actors and SCA brethren, thank you, Dean and Curtis for being some of the feature players in my film. I look forward to seeing what it is that you bring to these characters, and I think that we’ll continue to have a good time, like always.

I’m looking forward to what creative things I have in the works to present unto everybody. If you haven’t subscribed to my stuff, please do, that’s the biggest way of showing me that you support this journey.  Thank you. This was just to be short and sweet. With that being said, this is the Director and that’s a wrap.

Superhero Shirt Day: The Birth of Something Bigger

Oh boy, where to even begin? Damn, I can’t believe that it’s been over a year since the world lost a big geek. James, I see or talk to your parents almost daily, and I know that they miss you more than ever. You left a huge hole in the lives that you impacted, and things wouldn’t be the same. It was good to know you kid.

Tomorrow is your birthday, you would have been twenty years old. I think you would be proud of the things that are being done in your name. There’s so much that I personally wish I could have shared with you, and I think the things that Sarah and I have done with your parents, would have gotten you excited to join in with as well.

Your birthday day has become a day to remember the parents who have lost a child, and I’ve had the unfortunate experience to see it happen to a few people I know, but their children are honored with you. Thank you for being a bigger light then anyone could have ever thought you would be.

Superhero Shirt Day brought along the birth of the Geeks of The IWV, and it has really brought people together. I never expected this to become such a big part of my life, hell, I’m producing content with its own channel because of the Geeks. It really fills that passionate side of me. Thank you Kim for letting me run with the Geeks on Geek concept, it’s something that I’ve been wanting to do for a long time, and I think James would have loved this concept too.

The Geeks of The IWV was something I agreed to start because I thought it would help my co-creator coupe, and it’s seemed to have given her that, and given her more. It’s even given me more than I thought I would have dreamed of. I knew that I was heading towards this anyway as an avenue that I wanted to pursue, but its also given me inspiration to create content with the other geeks that I know, and I can’t wait to start producing more content in the name of the Geeks.

So, to my followers on WordPress, Facebook, and Twitter, I ask that you wear something with a superhero as a shirt, or even something geeky, to help support this day. Help honor the parents of the lost children, and fly the geek flags high in the air. Happy twentieth James, we love you, and hope you’re smiling down upon those who honor your memory. This is the director, and with geeky pride, I’m calling this a wrap.

Messed Up Parenting, and Experience is a Bitch!

Some people try to be a perfect parent…. I mean it should be easy right? Television and movies make it look…almost too easy.  I think the most interesting experience is raising yourself, also called the parents curse.  Remember when mom and dad said, your child is going to be just like you?  Yeah, it’s happened, and it is frustrating.  All we can do is try our best to raise our children with love and care, and then get told we’re wrong, just to be proven right….later.

I’m not a perfect parent, and although it’s a learning process, the best we can do is try and do our best, and hope that we didn’t fuck up enough in the end. Don’t get me wrong, I might miss times when they were younger and innocent, but I feel the best goal is to raise decent people and hope they succeed in the world.  That’s all a parent can actually hope for.

So, I think I’m funny, and I thought having little people with my sense of humor would be hilarious, instead I realized that I raised assholes. Not that they are the kind to steal lunch money or beat someone up, but they mess with people. The sad part is that as a parent, I feel guilty of the fact that it is kind of funny, but at the same time it make me reflect on the kind of person I am. Sadly, the kind of sense of humor I have, does make me an asshole. At least I’m somewhat likable, then there’s the grey area of as you get to know me, is that humor worth it?

I want my kids to grow up and realize that I love them with all my heart, and though I’ve made mistakes, I hope they know that I’ve always wanted what was best for them. Sometimes, I don’t think people appreciate what family they have. I for one, don’t seem to have the best relationship with most of my family. I get along with my parent’s just fine, but I have a very different perspective on life then my cousin’s and grandparents do. I guess that makes me a black sheep, but I’m not afraid to be different.

The hardest part about being a parent is watching another version of you growing up before your eyes. The same depression, the same frustrations, and with things different with today’s society.  You can’t give the advice that got you through those tough times of bullies, and self loathing. You want to help, you want to make it better, but nothing you do is right, and in the end, you just can’t seem to relate.

This brings the most frustrating part of being a parent to light, the child knows everything, and the parent doesn’t. God, I remember when I knew everything and when I was invincible. To be able to have that mindset again, but then you gain the wisdom of not knowing everything and pride be damned, you’re not always right.

“No  child, I don’t say this to make you feel bad, or stupid,” “I do this to enlighten you, because I care, because I don’t want you to make the same mistakes that I made.”  That’s all anyone can do, be there for their children, and support them. At some point, you can’t protect them forever. All you can do is give them tools to work with and hope that it’s enough to get them through this cold and cruel world.

Sometime remind them that you love your child, but also remind them that the world has no love for them.  While you’ve protected them, warn them that the world isn’t there for their protection. This place is ugly, and all you can do is try and be that piece of beauty in this place.

For my children: Autumn, Christopher, and Lily, I love you and hope that I’ve taught you something that you can use as a torch to light the way.  You are good children, and I’ll always support you.

This is the Director and that is a wrap.