The Heat is On

Holy crap, this has been a crazy week.  I got ahead of my homework last Sunday, but haven’t gotten around to doing anymore of it yet.  It’s been a busy week, and hot doesn’t begin to describe the weather outside.  So, let me get to a wrap up about what’s been going on.

Monday was a day that got up to around 113 degrees outside.  After work we had to head down to the Los Angeles area for my second sleep study-this time with a CPAP machine(yay me!).  The hooked me up to a mask called a nostril pillow, which is the smallest, but it left my nostrils sore the next morning.  I don’t know if it’s improved my sleep any, but it’s made me more aware of my tossing and turning at night.  That was part of the reason I decided to do most of my homework on Father’s day, because I wasn’t going to be good for doing homework on my regular schedule.

When we got home Tuesday, I was feeling tired still, but my lungs felt full of air.  The best part was that I didn’t have to work that day in the heat.  Wednesday was a different story, it got up to like 114 or something crazy like that, but I survived it and made it through the rest of my week, but because of my early work days, and the heat, homework just wasn’t happening for me.  So, I’ve taken a couple of days off, not bad really, just wanted to have another weekend free.

Now we come to today, Friday, June 23, 2017.  I was the first up and I decided to get on my Xbox and play Mass Effect: Andromeda, I enjoyed it, but then I decided to play Injustice 2 for a while.  As it got around noon time I decided that I would do the homework thing, problem is my computer needs all these updates, and so  I’m here waiting for the programs that I need to use to update, but it give me sometime to sit in front of a fan, cooling down and blog to everyone who pays attention.

Tomorrow there are going to be some great announcements on the Luckey Bom Films side of things, so if you’re following the Facebook page, if not here’s the link: https://www.facebook.com/Luckeybomfilms2/. We will be putting a special video up on our new YouTube page, and it’ll give you an idea of what’s going on.  We are going to be really getting started on what we love, and this is the beginning of why I’ve been going to school.  Don’t be surprised if we turn up the “heat” by announcing not only one, or two, but three separate huge projects that will keep us busy.  My job as a content provider is just starting and I have some great groups and projects that I’m tied too outside of the Luckey Bom Films studio.  So, until next time.(I need a signature motto)

Self Doubt and Contemplating

I felt in a funk today.  I’ve been there for a couple of days, and I wasn’t sure why.  I think it started with the fact that I as thinking about doing some major rewrites to Life Happens, I feel that I need to add some real substance to the lead character as he deals with the tragedy that has befallen his family.  Then I started my new class last night and I bombed my first quiz.  My biggest problem about last night was that I was tired and too much into my own head to let anything really sink in.  I know that I shouldn’t let this bother me the way it has, so I need to shake myself out of this funk, and I’m going to do that.  Unfortunately going through this mindset also sets up the ever dooming question,”am I good enough?”  I know that I shouldn’t feel that way, but sometimes it’s hard to think of the silver lining.

I do feel a bit better, thank you for thinking it, and I’ve decided that I’m not going to let these negative thoughts get in the way of partaking in a celebration of my wife’s birthday.  She has tolerated me far longer than I think I would’ve ever tolerated myself.  I’ve known her for nineteen years, and that’s over half of our lives, and most of that has been together.  She’s been my strength when I’ve been down, and she’s seen me at my lowest too.

Now back to the first subject at hand, I hate being stuck in my own mind because I realized that thoughts like that tend to sabotage my own success.  That’s where being my own worse critic comes in at as well.  When you get told that you’re not good enough, it tends to stick with you throughout your life.  That’s not saying that I feel that way anymore, but that self doubt crawls in every once in awhile.  I’m glad that I have the people in my life that I do because they’ve been the biggest support in my life.  I’ve got an amazing set of friends, and my chosen family are the glue to my backbone.

I don’t plan on letting any minor set back phase me, because life has been going so well for me.  I’ve got the production studio being prepared to start producing content, and I’m looking forward to getting the creative process flowing again.  I’ve got so many ideas that I can’t wait to share with everyone, and I’ve gotten a few characters in development that I think will get some laughs once the sketches start being written.  I just hope that with Luckey Bom Films  and the CK Project are successful, and I hope that I don’t overwhelm myself by doing a billion things at once.  I can’t forget to mention the things I’ve been developing for the Geeks of the IWV.  This group has been going fairly decent for a local group that is almost a year old, and I’m glad that I can be part of this group with wonderful and passionate geeks like myself.  It really has brought my relationship with people to a better place.

So, I have a pod cast in the works, actually about three of them, and so I’m wondering what people think about the content I’d like to get out.  We have a geek pod cast, would anyone like to hear reviews on the latest Comics, movies, and maybe video games? How about video’s demonstrating some of the boardgames that we play?  For my other pod casts, what type of content would you like to see?  Relationships? Local News?  Up coming plans on where the projects and companies are going?

Final words-  Let me know what you think?  I’m trying to get more marketable and I’d love any input that you might have?  Take care and good night.

Forward March

Wow! In seven months I get to call myself a graduate from Film School.  I will have my Bachelors of Science in Digital Filmmaking, and I’m about ready to have an office, since plans kind of fell through with the other place.  Life is good!  All I need now is a few more shots for my B-roll of my documentary, and it’s been suggested that I might consider applying for a Film Festival.  These are the moments that I love.  It seems like a validation of all my hard work, and I couldn’t be more excited on what the future has in store for me.

I have some friends, who are about to deal with the one year anniversary of their son’s tragic death… things have really changed in this past year.  I think I appreciate the people in my life more.  Even if we aren’t close, I seem to wish that they have safe travels and hope that they arrive back safely.  Life is too short to let negative things get in the way, and if there is anything I’ve learned, it’s too treat people better, because you never know how they may change your life.

We started this local Geek group called The Geeks of the IWV last August in response to the celebration of his life.  I thought it was a good way to help my friends mourn, and to help deal with their grief.  I never thought that this whole process would change me as well.  I feel that I’ve become a better person, a better friend, and more positive about life.  I love my kids so much more than I ever thought I did.  I love my wife more because she’s supported me.  My friends have also seen a difference in the way I handle things.  With this group, I’ve been able to network so much better than I ever thought possible.

I think tragedy can become triumph in the end.  The tragedy itself never goes away, and I in no means, say that to cheapen what’s happened, but I think it can lead to self discovery.  When I had my suicidal melt down and work, I needed help, and I was able to find that help through a professional.  The tragedy that hit me at the time was that friends, and family members had suffered suicide in their lives. Around that time, there were five people that I had heard committed the act.  I knew one of the people locally,  he was a hip=hop dance instructor  at the gym I was going too at the time.  When I found out what happened I became morose because I felt like if I had the chance to talk to him, he would have known that he wasn’t alone.  We connected over our fondness of hip-hop and talked about trying to choreograph some dance moves to a Michael Jackson song or two.  His death really impacted me.

Human connection is important.  I try to pay attention to what people wear when I see them at my job, and it often times leads to conversations, and friendships.  I’ve become acquainted with so many people by noticing the lanyard they wear around their necks.  If it’s a sports team, we’ll start talking about sports, and we talk about favorite players, and teams that we like.  The one that gets the most attention is when someone wears either comic book characters or video games.  Those usually spark the best conversations  and I’ve made a good set of friends because of it.  It’s funny what you can learn about someone if you pay attention to what they wear.

I had a conversation with my little brother today, and I think that I finally summed up my goals in life.  I told him that it’s hard work building an empire, and that’s what I feel like I’m doing.  I want to do movies, music, podcasting, and on top of all of that, I want to have the accessibility to show that I’m there to support those who can’t handle mental illness. Sometimes, there doesn’t seem to be any options than to end their lives.  All I can say to that is- I’m here, you’re not alone, I love you.  Don’t let the darkness be the answer, because there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel.  I know that it doesn’t seem like it, or that the light is too far to see, but endure, fight through it…you’ll come out stronger in the end.

These are things that I’m more passionate about now.  I’m getting the tools to help lend a voice to the unanswered, and I plan on using it to help.  My creativity is there to help entertain and maybe even be thought provoking at times.  Life’s hard, and I’m the first to admit that I’ve wanted to quit.  I almost have, more times than I would care to admit.  My depression hit me hard because I felt like I was stuck in a spot that I wasn’t happy in.  I had set plans to leave everything behind because I couldn’t deal with being stuck.  Life was closing in around me.  Now I’m moving forward to a bright future.  I’m not stuck anymore, and the momentum is carrying me along a new path.  Somedays it moves very quickly, than other days, I wonder if I’m still moving, but forward is always ahead of me.

While I’m not going to mention names of my friends who lost their son,  I do want to leave a thought on the eve of the anniversary: I love you and your family.  My heart goes out to you in your time of suffering.  I’ve seen growth from both of you in this past year, and I think you’ll learn to manage with your loss better as time goes.  Your eldest left a giant hole in the lives of everyone who had the fortune of knowing him.  I wish that I could have known him better than the chance that I had.  By the time my family and I had entered into your lives the way we did, he had already became a working man who was busy with school and work.  The time I did share with him was great because we geeked out about the same things.  Just know that there isn’t a day that you two don’t cross my mind, and I’m always going to be here for you.